Category Archives: Uncategorized

An open letter to my brother

        I have a half brother I don’t know, and he’s about to turn 18. Our father died eight years ago and his mother decided that she didn’t want me or our sister in Will’s life at all. To her, I’m a bad influence because I’m too liberal, a non-Christian, and, I assume a host of other things that conservative evangelicals would think make me an instrument of—I don’t know—sin (?), vice (?), degradation or something (?). The devil? I don’t know.

        Our father wanted us to know each other, but with his death, Will’s mother got the final say and it’s not my place to force the issue. Except, now, Will’s technically old enough to make his own decisions about who he wants in his life.

        I hope he chooses to reach out, to talk to either me or Amber. The version of our father that Will knew during his first ten years, and the version that dad’s second wife saw and has reinforced in Will’s mind isn’t all there was to the man. Will probably only knows about his grandparents, Carl and Dorothy Malott from what our Aunt Helen has told him, which I don’t suspect to be much. Aunt Helen is one of the kindest people I know, and I’ve rarely, if ever, heard her say anything critical about anyone. In most cases, that’s a good thing, but getting a clear picture of someone means seeing their warts and scars, too.

        I would like to know my half brother. The invitation is open.


Outrider Live: Words and Music No. 2

In this episode, recorded live on December 8th, 2018, we have readings by Michelle Barrett and Shawn Craver. Our musical performer is Elleana. 

The Outrider Podcast: Bad Business Ep 6

In this, our final episode, Todd, Paul and I bring it sort of full circle as we take a look at the latest re-imagining of Raymond Chandler’s iconic detective, Philip Marlowe, and discuss Lawrence Osborne’s novel Only To Sleep. So, join us for one last ride into the dark underbelly . . . 


Jut and FYI.
The final episode of Bad Business, The Outrider Podcast’s foray in crime and noir fiction will land tomorrow, Jan 15.

And thanks to the hard work of my producer, Heather, it sounds excellent. This means she now qualifies as a wizard.

Look for it in you podcast feed tomorrow.

And then, get ready for another live show around the end of the month.

Delayed: Bad Business Episode 6

Ok, so, I’m not a sound engineer and despite recording three separate tracks for episode six none of them are great. Heather is working away at them, so, please be patient.

After some self-education, I won’t be making the same mistakes and hopefully I’ll be making my producer’s life a little easier in the future.

Ep six will be out soon.

Followed by a new live show at the end of the month.

The Outrider Podcast: Bad Business Ep. 5

In this episode Todd, Paul, and I discuss the somewhat lighter side of the genre with a look at Thomas Pynchon’s Inherent Vice and Richard Brautigan’s Dreaming of Babylon. 

Three Things

Three things:

1) I’ve been working on a long essay for the last few weeks (I mentioned it in the First Saturday Report). I’m watching it slowly progress to 20,000 words. Guess I have a lot to say about literature. Well, it is a manifesto after all.

2) Episode 4 of Bad Business is out. We flap our gums about James Ellroy and Elmore Leonard. We don’t like Ellroy and he might like it that way—not that he knows who the fuck we are.

3) I had a dream about my father last night. It’s been happening a lot lately, and I think it’s a pattern of forgetting. After he died, I had dreams about finding him alive in strange places, or about him showing up alive and no one acting like anything was wrong, and the dreams were about me struggling with that incongruity. Now, the dreams have changed. There’s no surprise at finding him alive in my dreams, there’s no attempt to reconcile his apparent resurrection. In the dream last night, he simply came to visit. We got Chinese food and sat on the floor in my apartment and watched TV. We didn’t talk. It was a good visit.

The Outrider Podcast: Bad Business Ep. 4

In Episode 4, Todd, Paul, and I are back in the same room to discuss James Ellroy’s American Tabloid and Elmore Leonard’s Unknown Man No. 89. It’s time for a little dark mayhem and some critical snark. 

The Outrider Podcast: Bad Business Ep. 3

In episode 3, Paul, Todd, and I talk about Charles Willeford’s The Woman Chaser and Megan Abbott’s Die a Little. NOTE: Despite Heather’s valiant efforts the audio is still a little uneven in this episode, but the conversation is good. 

Bad Business Ep 2: The Long Goodbye

In episode 2, Todd, Paul and I discuss Raymond Chandler and his novel The Long Goodbye.